Amusing Truths for Mature Humans

This is a Copy and Paste Blog… Oh My Goodness I had to repost this from Moon Face blog it was just too good to pass up:

Amusing Truths for Mature Humans
“I got these in an email a while back and just found it again. These are hilarious observations, and most of them I find myself agreeing with. I think No. 13, 23, 26 and 32 are my favorites- so funny, and true.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Bluray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my document that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

23. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an asshole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong brothers and sister!

25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

26. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

28. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

30. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

31. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, you get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

32. I think everyone has a film that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

What was your favorite number that you can relate to?”

I litterally cracked up multiple times while reading this, repeatedly in agreement. haha.

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